Jokes

A man and his wife had a son, but the baby didn’t have a body, just a head. So the man and his wife raised the head. On the boys’s 21st birthday, the man took his son out for drinks. When the boy took his first sip, he grew a torso and the whole bar lit up. The bartender seemed absolutely disgusted and the boy’s father was crying. So he drunk some more and the more he drunk, the body parts that came out. The bar was cheering, the father was crying and the bartender was still disgusted. The boy got all of his body parts and picked up his last drink with his hands. He was so drunk that he wobbled outside into the street, got hit with a 18 wheeler and died. Everyone was in so much shock except the bartender, who then replied:”He should have quit while he was ahead.

A man takes a monkey into a bar the man orders beer the bartender asks if he can give the monkey some grapes the man says sure the monkey eats the grapes across the room there are some guys playing pool the monkey jumps off the table and on to the pool table and swallows the cue ball the man rolls his eyes gets the monkey and walks out of the bar about a week later the man comes back into the bar with the monkey and again orders a beer the bartender again asks if he can give the monkey some grapes the man looks at the monkey and says yeah sure he puts the bowl of grapes in front of the monkey the monkey looks at the grape then sticks it in his butt then eats it he does this a few times and the bartender says why is he doing that the man says since the cue ball incident he measures everything before he eats it

A prince with a 25inch penis went to a lake because he was sad. No woman wanted to have sex with him. So a frog jumped out and asked the man what was wrong. The prince told the frog his situation and the frog said that he was magic and could get it down to where he wanted it. The frog was going to ask the prince a question and everytime the prince said no, his penis would go down 5inches. So the frog asked him,”Will you kiss me?” The prince said no and it went down to 20in. The frog asked the same question again and the prince said no, then it went down to 15in. The prince just needed to say it one more time to get it to the size he wanted. So the frog asked the prince once more,”Will you kiss me?” The prince got so aggravated he answered,”NO,NO,NO!”

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